Reasons I didn’t go to church this morning:

  • There’s a lion in the streets
  • I forgot to wake late
  • A storm is coming
  • Global warming
  • Global cooling
  • Climate change
  • Evolution hasn’t caught up to me yet
  • I’ll believe in God when everybody else does
  • I couldn’t find a thing to wear
  • I don’t like those people
  • Those people don’t like me
  • Church is so passé
  • My dog was reading my bible and didn’t want to disturb him
  • The preacher ignores me when I try to interrupt
  • I went last week but I didn’t see God
  • God told me to go to brunch instead
  • Somebody was sitting in my seat
  • I went on Friday but nobody showed up
  • People aren’t holy enough
  • People say I’m not holy enough
  • Pets aren’t allowed
  • Is it Easter already?
  • The bible doesn’t say we have to go to that church!
  • If God wanted me to go to church, he would have made me a preacher
  • God said “follow me” but I never see him go in
  • The preacher only talks about God and the bible
  • I’ll go when I get old
  • I don’t have to go to church to believe in God
  • I don’t have to go to church, I don’t believe in God
  • Oh, is today Sunday?
  • I believe in home churching
  • I went anyway

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