Grief and Divorce

My ethernet friend, Matthew, hits another home run out of the park…from the heart. Jesus, the friend of a wounded heart. Amen!

Matthew Winters (Honest Thoughts from a Pastor)

With my job as a hospice chaplain, I have online training due every month that covers various aspects of my job. In addition to being the chaplain, I also am bereavement coordinator and volunteer coordinator. I watched a refresher on the models of grief yesterday. As I looked at the various models, I saw how one particular model related to the process of my separation and divorce.

A pastor told me before the separation officially occurred that a divorce is similar to a death. I could not see the similarities until I was alone and walking through it. The grief model that related to my divorce is called the phase model, presented in 1980 by Bowlley. The phases are numbness/shock, yearning/searching, disorganization/despair, and reorganization.

Initially, I was numb. I tried to respond spiritually. I said all the right things and had all the responses a “good Christian” should. However, it…

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